A Tiny Problem

I have a tiny, itty-bitty problem.  It’s just this insignificant thing that somehow manages to put a crinkle in my day-to-day life and always rouses a sigh and a solemn head shake from the husband.  What is this particular problem?  Well, the following conversation happened last night:

ME
‘So… you can’t be mad at me.’

HIM
“…what?”

ME
(sweet, loving smile followed by anxious silence)

HIM
“What did you buy?

ME
‘What? (guilty laughter)  Why do you automatically assume I bough-‘

HIM
(pointed look) “What did you buy?”

foundationThere are times that I wonder if my husband and I even breathe the same air; then there are times like this, where he seems to read me as easily as one reads the papers bound in a clear, plastic trapper keeper.  Argh.

I’ve mentioned several times my love of buying things.  I try to keep it controlled!  With clothes, I’ll only buy single items, maybe two at a time.  Big shopping sprees are fun, but smaller ones actually allow me to sate my desire without going bankrupt.

I was in queue, waiting for the LOTRO beta server to let me on, and I got bored.  So, I checked my email and saw that AVON was having a sale.  I haven’t ordered anything in months and so I started looking around.  They do awesome deals like, buy two products worth $9 and get them both for only $6!  There’s also, buy one, get the next for $2.  I needed some powder foundation and well, I got some eyeshadow stuff I loved last time, so I got more colors.

All in all, I didn’t spend near as much as I usually do.  AVON isn’t the problem.  It’s the two lolcat shirts I got (here and here (I love my dorky t-shirts)), the three things I looted off of Express’ sales rack (three things only cost $40!  All cost over that originally!), the trip to Aerie, and the obligatory stop in Pacsun, where I saw a birdie tank top I had to have.  I also went into Charlotte Russe because they had a silver/gray shiny cover up thing.  I have a thing with clothes that are either silver, shiny, blue, or have a bird somewhere on it.  Yeah, I know.  Simple minds and all that…

Then, there was the jeans I had to buy.  Yes, had to buy.  I was wearing nice, awesome work clothes toaejeans work, but that changed a long time ago when they forced me into the second section I currently work at in afternoons.  I have to wear jeans, so yeah, sucks.  Anyway, I hate buying jeans and avoid it at all costs.  I have the “huge ass, tiny waist” disease.  Nothing ever fits my ass completely.  If I can squeeze my ass into it, that means I have to cinch a belt so tight around my waist that my organs start playing musical chairs.  Add in the fact that I also have short, thick legs and it’s a no-win situation.

AE was having a sale on jeans and I was dubious, as the quality of their products leaves a lot to be desired.  I did, however, like their boot cut style, as the flare wasn’t huge and they had the right length in “short” jeans online for me.  So, I bought two.  This came to nearly $80.  I had to toss out some old, worn jeans that had been with me since before college, so it was a necessary expenditure, but still.  Yikes!  Unfortunately, I don’t have that nice space between my thighs like the picture.  I haven’t seen that since before I hit puberty and even my starve yourself by eating only a cup cornflakes twice a day diet didn’t bring it back.

So, yeah, I promised the husband I wouldn’t buy anything else this month.  He laughed and said the month was already half over, to which I indignantly responded that it was not, there were still three long weeks left!