Best Laid Plans…

Best Laid Plans...

I’m not going to lie, I thought I’d have a baby by now. Apparently, she’s quite stubborn and has no intentions of coming before she’s ready! Everyone else I knew who was pregnant with me, both those due before and after me, have all given birth already. Of course, they all had boys. Boys have little issue coming early it seems. My doctor’s appointment is tomorrow and they’re going to check me and see if I’ve made any progress. I’ll be 39 weeks.

I had these amazing plans of making my own little wooden placards with her name on them. Buying one would cost nearly $300 due to the length of her name. Of course, I got all the stuff… but I’m not terribly crafty. Unfortunately, we’re having issues with the stencils involving her name. Husband was going to cut them out… but they’re not coming out as smoothly as we’d like.

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It doesn’t help that I bought some cheap acrylic paint for the lettering and it turns out it is way too runny to use! I’m not sure what we’re going to do now. I feel so defeated. I wish I were crafty. I really wanted her nursery to look nice and not just a room. Sigh.

I’ve been doing my best, but I’m still not happy with it. I’m a perfectionist, so none of this is… it just feels extremely “bland” to me. I feel like everyone else pulls out all of the stops for their first child’s nursery and it took us forever to even get the walls finished. We’re working on organizing her closet now. I’ve got everything mostly washed, just a few odds and ends left.

We’ve been leaving the the nursery room open to air it out and get Loki used to it. It used to be this mysterious room we kept a bunch of crap in, but now it’s got furniture and more importantly, stuffed animals, so he’s interested. He didn’t bother it much at first, but adding those seemed to pique his interest. The husband was in there measuring when Loki jumped up into the crib and tried to abscond one of her stuffed animals!

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He really likes the little husky I just got at Carter’s over the weekend. We went out shopping a bit with the mother-in-law since the father-in-law was off hunting and she was lonely. I got some sweaters and hoodies because they were having a sale. The husband pointed out the husky dog and I grabbed it. I love huskies! Apparently, so does Loki… well, he loves anything that’s fuzzy.

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After I shooed him away from the husky, he started nosing into all the other soft things. There’s a bunch of stuff piled on her crib because I’m still sorting and organizing. Loki decided that he liked the comforter and flopped down. It’s like Loki heaven–surrounded by stuffed animals and soft, cushy blanket to enjoy. Sigh. When I went to remove him, he tried snapping at me. Naughty kitty!

I don’t encourage him to go into the crib because I don’t want him doing that when she’s actually asleep in it! He’s not malicious to children by any means, he likes to cuddle with them… which is the worry. I don’t want him smothering her on accident.

As we approach the due date, I’m suffering from a lot of insomnia and just major discomfort. I haven’t had any “nesting’ vibes yet, but I’m still forcing myself to organize and clean as much as I’m able to. I fell down the steps over the weekend and while I didn’t hurt my belly, I did take the entirety of the fall on my left knee. Since then, I’ve been swelling like crazy in my legs. It’s horrifying! I’m a little worried my doctor is going to write me off work, so I’ve planned my leave out for my last day being the third. We’ll see what happens…

I’m really ambivalent about my family lately. My mother isn’t respecting my “no contact” request and my grandparents are being overly pushy about the whole situation. No one on that side is being understanding in the least. As I told the husband, as per usual, no one cares or thinks about me, they’re only worried about themselves. Thinking about it just agitates me. I don’t even know if I want to tell them when she comes, because I don’t want to deal with the stress of them coming down and wanting to bring my mother. She’s taken to calling my mother-in-law, which is just completely inappropriate!

At least my dad and that side of the family is being good. It’s like a seesaw. Annoying.

Baby Stuff!

Baby Stuff!

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My dad bought us the car seat and stroller combo we had on our baby registry. I was excited waiting for it to arrive. When it did arrive, we wasted no time busting it open and putting the stuff together. Our first official baby furniture! There was no way we were letting it sit in a box…

Very happy with the choice I made! I decided on the Chicco KeyFit line, which has pieces that fit together throughout various ages, making things so much easier down the line. I did a lot of research, but kept coming back to this one. I got red because it’s the husband’s favorite color and it’s fairly gender neutral should we need to use these things again in the next two to three years.

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Loki wasn’t exactly thrilled with us using him as our “text subject”, haha. He has zero interest in the furniture, unlike everyone else’s cats. He sort of sniffs it, rubs it, and then he’s done with it.

Getting this stuff just makes it all seem more “real”… it’s really crazy. We also got the crib and dresser from my dad’s dad and step-mother! Of course, those will remain in the box until the room is finally finished. The in-laws are supposed to be coming up this weekend to give us a hand, which will be nice.

Things are definitely happening… very quickly. It feels like everything is in fast forward. Next week is our birthing class. I remember scheduling it back around June and July, thinking, “wow, that’s so far away.” Now it’s here. Yikes! It’s almost a month until my due date. We have food that expires on or slightly past my due date now. It’s all just very surreal and odd.

I can’t wait to get her room ready! These pictures of the stroller and carseat are kind of old. I’ve had the Thank You cards and baby shower stuff sorted for a long time. Soon, I’ll be pulling it all out again to wash it… whoa.

32 Weeks Already?!

32 Weeks Already?!

Time is seriously going by way, way too quickly. We’re so not ready. The baby’s room is still nowhere near being close to finished, we’ve yet to buy any actual baby furniture, and we’re still missing pretty much all of the necessities. Sigh. At least we have our ultrasound coming up this Thursday. That’s exciting. We haven’t “seen” her since the anatomy ultrasound back in June. Given how big my stomach has gotten and how much she moves (if you press on certain parts on my stomach, you can FEEL her!), the ultrasound will definitely be fun.

Husband is out working on the deck. We need to get it stained before the cold weather sneaks in. Usually it stays pretty warm down here clear through October, but much like last year, that’s not looking likely this year. We’re probably going to have another “bad” winter here. You’d think a place located in Appalachia would be used to snow, but no, not this place!

We both caught the respiratory thing going around, so we’ve been trying to recover from that. Being sick and pregnant is downright miserable. I miss being able to take medication! I’m doing okay, though, and didn’t get as sick as the husband did. I should, hopefully, be much better off tomorrow. I’ve been doing absolutely nothing but couch surfing all weekend, which is frustrating. My aunt is coming in for the baby shower Saturday, so I want to have everything cleaned up! Looks like I’ll be doing that after work during the week…

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We had our work baby shower on Friday. It went amazingly, a lot better than I had anticipated! I am very grateful to my friend/coworker and the husband’s friend/coworker who both set it up. We got a lot of awesome gifts and gift cards! I’ve got the Thank You cards already filled out and ready to be put in their mailboxes once we get back to work on Monday.

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Loki, of course, had to nose through the bags! We were surprised when he didn’t zero in on the fuzzy blanket or the stuffed bear. He’s obsessed with fuzzy/plushy things and usually tries to steal them. He’ll take off and we usually have to chase him down and get the fuzzy object away from him. Instead, he just kept nosing around the bags before settling on rubbing one of the bags of a coworker who also has a cat.

Our family shower is this Saturday. I’m hoping it goes okay. My family won’t really be in attendance, probably just my aunt who is flying in from Florida. My dad was supposed to try and make it down, but his stupid wife got a DUI, so he’s at home dealing with that right now. I’d like him to get down here before the baby is here, but that doesn’t seem likely, sigh. He’ll pop up when she’s here and I don’t want to play hostess!

It’s so hard to fathom that we have less than two months now to prepare. I need to start updating my lists and we’ve got to start cracking down and getting things done. Getting this deck staining out of the way will definitely clear up our schedule, as it’s the last major house improvement that relies on the weather. Everything else will fall in line once this is done. The in-laws were supposed to come and help, but MIL never cleared it with FIL (as husband asked several times for her to do) and so he’s too busy today. Husband is doing what he can. I wish I could help, but I can’t be around the chemicals (it’s a special, repairing stain) and I’m still too damned sick to be useful, sigh.

I really, really want to get my vanity room all organized and completely set up before the baby comes. Right now, it’s just sort of a disarray of all my stuff, with my vanity that holds all my makeup. We just sort of throw whatever in there and use it as a storage room. It recently got a litter box added to it because Loki was actually strangely and not using the downstairs litter box. I later found out that this was because husband hadn’t been dumping the litter out completely every month or so and changing the liner! I usually do all of this… but I can’t now. So frustrating.

This Is It…

My last morning in the apartment, sitting here, at my computer in the second bedroom that’s been home to my computer for the past four years. Never again will I stumble out of bed here and wander into this room. It’s really bittersweet. I laid in bed for several minutes this morning, just looking around. After this, everything is different and unlike my previous homes… I can never really come back here. This is it. Finality.

We got a lot of boxes moved yesterday, between one of the husband’s coworkers helping and the in-laws coming up late into the evening. Most of the moving is, hopefully, going to happen today. We’re expecting to have most of the big furniture there… but that may have to wait until tomorrow. Computers and bed will be moved, however. Our internet is getting hooked up there today as well.

Loki is freaking out. He was fine until yesterday, when all of the boxes started leaving, and then one of the bookcases, followed quickly by my husband’s desk that he never used. This prompted our cat to walk around, looking terribly confused, and letting out pitiful little meows. I’m probably going to have to drive when we take him to the new house so my husband can sit in the back with him. When we moved here from the in-laws house, it was an hour drive. Loki cried the entire way and my husband kept imploring me to do something. Like what? He’s a cat, he’ll get over it. Cats hate cars!

I need to finish up laundry (we have no washer or dryer at our house yet, sigh), do a last bit of dishes… and then pack up the rest of our clothes. Most of what is left is already packed up or furniture. The apartment is only slightly disturbed right now, but after today, it’s going to look pretty barren.

We also still need to go out and buy a cat carrier, some black trash bags, and packing tape. If the husband didn’t insist on working today (and going in at like 7am), I could have dropped him off, ran to the store, and come back to do packing. Now I have to wait until he gets home around noon. The overtime is certainly nice, if not a bit inconvenient.

I’m going to be absolutely exhausted after today. And crazy. Because the house we bought had been used as a rental and the interior… oh, the interior! They let those people paint however they liked and they were absolutely awful at it. There’s wallpaper to be stripped, floors to be taken up, and paint to be put everywhere. Husband is dead-set on scrubbing the walls. He can have at that, I won’t be! We also need to order a drip tray and panel for the bottom of the refrigerator there. Not sure what happened to either. Not that I mind, it’s a freaking Jenn-Air that’s brand new and cost around $2,000!

All right, time to go take care of the laundry… my next post will be from the house. Wow.

Simple Things

Simple Things

I’ve been messing around with my camera lately, trying to re-learn all of its idiosyncrasies. I think I’m going to have to get my books out again. For me, framing a good shot or capturing a moment are things that come inherently… but the technical side can be a bit off-putting. I don’t have to take thirty shots to get one good one when it comes to the actual shot itself, but as far as trying to tell the camera what to do… it can take much, much more.

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The only subject I have that isn’t inanimate is my cat, Loki. Unfortunately, he’s the opposite of a diva. He hears me get the camera out and immediately runs and hides or throws angry, grumpy faces at me. Sometimes I can convince him to let me take a few pictures, but when his patience is gone, you know it. It’s a shame; he’s such a beautiful cat.

I really love editing in photoshop and just sort of ‘experimenting’ with different types of coloring and focal points. The first shot is completely 100% camera, I am really in love with this 35mm lens I got for an anniversary present last year!

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These two were taken with drastic over-exposure with the sunlight illuminating from behind because I love the halo effect that creates when you’re editing RAW pictures. I have a hard time taking photos without the intent of editing them afterward. I really have to challenge myself to take pictures that look good and stand on their own without me wanting to tamper with them!

Anyway, I’m having fun with my camera again and I’ve realized that I’m woefully behind on printing out pictures and putting them into the albums. Yikes. I’ll have to do that at some point…

The scale read 153.4 this morning. That’s the lowest, without sickness, that I’ve been in years. I’m so excited. I want it to keep going down. It’s a slow, steady road… and sometimes, I want to pull out my hair and I feel just so freaking hungry, but I look at the results and keep trucking on. I will reach my goal weight. I will. Myfitnesspal has really helped me stay accountable for what I eat and to monitor my habits.

I never thought I’d be able to go without eating pasta, bread, and every manner of carbs in giant truckloads, but I’m doing a lot better. I still eat more than I should, but I’m mindful of it now. I’d kill for some freaking spaghetti right now, though. It’s nice that things are treats or delicious delicacies! I took the things I ate for granted and now I appreciate them more.

The husband went to the doctor for his yearly check-up and got put on some anti-anxiety medication. I’m crossing my fingers that this helps him sleep better and that we can finally start to move forward with looking at houses and such. He’s been a giant ball of stress for awhile now and the situation with his grandpa’s increasingly failing health/battle with Alzheimer’s isn’t helping at all.

If his mood improves, so will mine, and I’ll stop having the urge to buy all of the things. This is a problem. I, sometimes, have a problem. Emotional shopping is my guilty pleasure.

I also got myself measured again for bras and… found I’m wearing a band size that’s way too big. I’m a 32, it seems. A 32DDD! How is that even possible? They are not that big. They don’t even look that big. Try any other size doesn’t seem to work, though. Holy shit. I just keep thinking I’m going to need a wheelbarrow to carry my boobs around when I’m old, but in reality, a triple D in a 32 band is about the size of a D cup in a 36 band. Craziness. I can’t even begin to understand how this crpa works and I’m a woman!