Jan
4
2015
It was a crazy year! A lot happened. I thought the end of 2013 was intense with us finally leaving behind our apartment for a home of our own… but I had no idea what 2014 would bring us! Last year, at this time, I had just stopped taking my birth control. My last pill was the end of December 2o13. We discussed it and honestly, we didn’t expect much. At the very least, we thought that maybe… maybe the the end of he year; at the worst, we anticipated nothing. I don’t honestly know what I personally wanted. All I know is, that when I got that positive result in March and I was 8 weeks along already… I freaked out.
I spent the majority of the year pregnant and the tail end of it a mother. I embarked on a journey I could never have prepared myself for. My husband started a new job that’s left him a much more tolerable person to live with. There were a lot of good changes in 2014 and a lot of scary things, too.
And here we are, our first full year in our own home is in the books. We’ve made so many changes to it. Moving in seems like a lifetime ago. Hell, November seems like a lifetime ago! I don’t know if it’s because of Eva or what, but time seems so much more ethereal to me now… and I never had the greatest grasp of it to begin with (although in some ways, I grasp it too well…)
We rang in the new year with the in-laws. We actually stayed the night. It went surprisingly well, though Eva was in the midst of a growth spurt and is still in throes of another “mental leap”, so she didn’t sleep well. I got to play a game with everyone before she woke up and wanted fed. It wasn’t too bad and it was certainly nice being away from the house… or more specifically, the living room. Sigh.
Mother-in-law went with us (me and Eva) on New Year’s Day while husband and his father went hunting. Eva went to her first restaurant and she was really good. I got to mill around Target without my husband looking pained or judging me for throwing useless crap into the cart, haha. I also used a store changing table for the first time without incident. I’m slowly getting more confident about going out with Eva on my own. I wore her in the ring sling this time… I still need to work on my technique with that.
She’s getting so big, so fast. I can’t believe it will soon be two months! I’m a little anxious about returning to work in March, but I could never handle staying home all day. I don’t know how people do it! Plus, I like the money too much and I can give her awesome vacations I never got to have. We still need to contact the day care and make sure they’ve got a spot for her come end of February.
Slowly, so slowly, things are regaining some normalcy. I had my six week check-up and I’ve been cleared for everything, including exercise. Ha! When am I supposed to do that? Going out places isn’t as anxiety-inducing now that I know wearing Eva keeps her pretty calm. She has her two week appointment soon… and her shots. That should be interesting.
The house is a total disaster. I really need to get to organizing and getting things sorted for when I return to work and really have zero time for such things! Eva’s getting to the point where she’s happy on her own for about an hour now so that’s great. Now if only she’d nap reliably so she wouldn’t be so cranky!
Pumping is still touch and go… I really need to find a way to “zen” out and really let it happen. I have the worst time “letting down” for the pump, sigh. I haven’t even started on a freezer stash. I’m cooling off on bottles for Eva, though. My supply dipped hard between having a cold, taking sudafed, and her lazy nursing. She started to prefer the bottle. So, I got a Medela Calma nipple that requires suction for flow and I’ve been working really hard on perfecting her latch/technique. I’ve almost got my supply back now, and she’s improving. It’s a process.