So, it’s Official

Pregnancy sucks. I feel like I have a tapeworm sapping every ounce of energy I have. All I’ve done for the past two weeks is sleep. I go to work, I come home, I sleep, I wake up to barely eat something, and then I sleep some more. The fatigue is slowly wearing off, but my inability to eat is getting progressively worse. Everything smells awful and tastes worse. It’s horrible. I’ve had two giant ‘breakdowns’ of crying and self-pity because I’m so frustrated that I can’t just eat. I’ve only thrown up once and that was because I accidentally caught a grape stem (which smells hideous and tastes worse to me right now.)

When I went to the doctor a week ago, I was put at 8 weeks. I’m 9 weeks now and I’ve got my 10 week appointment on Thursday after work. I was completely gobsmacked. The nurse kept telling me all of this information and I’m just sitting there, staring at her, five shades whiter than I already am (which is a fucking feat, let me tell you.) I felt so completely overwhelmed and unprepared. I’m feeling a little better now, but it doesn’t seem any more real. I think the heartbeat will be the moment the shit truly hits the fan. I’m hoping it’ll be this Thursday.

Everyone knows now. The husband was telling everyone he could. I understand his excitement, but all I can think of is that we’re not yet out of the clear and anything could happen. I don’t really want to explain a miscarriage to everyone who works in the building with us. Of course, as a man, he has this completely hopeful outlook that “everything will work out and be fine.” Tell that to the alien in my gut trying to kill me from the inside.

My cousin is a week ahead of me and even though she’s experiencing some sickness with this pregnancy (her third), she’s still able to eat all of the things. I am ridiculously jealous. There are no words for just how jealous I am. I’ve lost weight instead of gained it, which is fine… but I can’t work out because I’m too damned tired and I’m always hungry because I can hardly eat anything at all. I’ve got constant nausea and I can’t eat any of the things that assuage it because crackers, pretzels, and all things associated taste like an ashtray.  I’m so ready for this part to be over.

My father-in-law has gone full ‘Tim the Tool-man Taylor’ mode. He is intent to fix ALL OF THE THINGS immediately. He was out in the rain working on our deck the weekend before last. I couldn’t get him to come inside for anything. Next project is staining the deck (they replaced ALL of the rotted railing) and then stripping the painted over wallpaper in the room that will be the baby’s.

Husband has been pulling all the slack. He’s done everything but laundry. He cooks, he cleans, and he takes care of my cranky ass. He deserves a medal. I’d probably just choke him with it. Better not give him a medal just yet.

We’re going to see my family in May and then it’s off to Arizona at the end of May. We rescheduled Key West for July (tentatively) because the baby is due November 6th and we don’t want any traveling at the end of the pregnancy. Sigh.

We’re still having the random realizations that come with this life-changing event. Yesterday, I nearly sobbed because I realized these were our last few months to go to a restaurant baby-free and I can’t even go in restaurants right now because of the smells!

Ugh. This hormone roller coaster sucks, I want off.

Let’s Never Do THAT Again…

Well, we’re moved in. We’ve been sleeping here since Saturday. We moved some stuff on Saturday and then the bulk of it on Sunday. Let’s just say… it was harrowing. I look like I belong to Fight Club. It was mostly just me, the husband, and the in-laws. Two coworkers were nice enough to help us with some of the bigger stuff! We didn’t end up getting a Uhaul like I wanted… so it was quite the endeavor.

We turned in our keys today and took one last look at our now empty apartment. It was really bittersweet. That apartment was our first true venture into independence and we were there for four years… seeing it empty was kind of sad. All that remains of us being there are the dents in the carpet. Those will be erased, as will any sign of us ever having lived there. Someone else will come in and it will be as if we were never there at all. Kind of a somber thought.

The new house is great, though. We’re settling in and getting things unboxed. My vanity is finally up! The husband got it for me for my birthday and I can’t wait to get all of my makeup sorted out on it. :) I’m waiting to take pictures until after everything isn’t a complete mess.

I really wish everyone wasn’t freaking out about the storm happening right now. Actually, I wish there wasn’t even a threat of a winter storm. We’re supposed to leave for Pennsylvania tomorrow! This is our first year not working Black Friday in a long time and I’m already pissed I can’t spend as much time with my family as I want–this storm is only making it worse.

Crossing my fingers and hoping that we can still make it and this is all just one big media shitstorm VS an actual, legitimate storm that will cause damage and prevent me from seeing my family…

Time to take my mind off of it and go pack and then watch some Sleepy Hollow.

Countdown until November 22nd

That’s our closing date: November 22nd, 2013. The Friday before Thanksgiving. Yes, I know. We’re insane. Did I mention that we’re going to Pennsylvania this year for Thanksgiving? Got to love rotational holidays, they don’t care about huge life changes like moving into your first house! It’s going to be stressful, but we’ll make it work. We’ll get maybe three days or so to settle in before heading to Pennsylvania.

Today we had our home inspection and the inspector found a lot of stuff we didn’t notice. All of the sinks are leaking. There’s water standing in the dish washer and the garbage disposal doesn’t function. The porch they built onto the house is awful, they didn’t pour the concrete over the bricks, so the seal has broken and now the water just runs underneath and into the bottom floor. That’s going to be something we have to fix fairly quickly…

There’s also the huge issue of exposed power wires being near metal siding to the right (pictured above.) The seller will be fixing that as part of our contract. We’ll hopefully get the three windows replaced, the plumbing fixed, and the outside wiring done all on their dime. The rest is up to us. Whew.

The French doors leading out to the deck from the kitchen need replaced as they’re rotting. I won’t cry over this one little bit. I wanted to replace them as soon as I saw them! It’s mostly a faux French door, with only one actual door, the other is a window. I found some much prettier (and cost effective) ones I plan on nestling into that spot.

The deck requires some TLC, as well. The previous owners of this house fancied themselves DIY-ers, but they didn’t have the skill and they were incredibly lazy. Anyone with some sense of construction can glance at this deck and tell you two things: one, it would never pass inspection as there are gaps in the stairs with one side railing (needs both) and two, the deck isn’t supported in the center. Yikes. There needs to be a beam coming down from where the stairs meet the deck itself at the top.

The fencing in the yard makes me want to weep. The old west might be to some people’s fancy, but not mine. Ugh. There’s an entire section missing. You can see it in the shaded area towards the right. The yard is overgrown, overrun with weeds and clover, and just needs completely redone. Should be a fun undertaking. One we’d do come Spring. It’ll have to languish until then! The fencing doesn’t even cover the entire property line, which is just odd.

There’s a lot of work to be done in this house, but it’s kind of exciting. It will take us some time, but we’ll get to mold and shape the house into something we love. I’m sure it’s going to be stressful, though. Home projects are expensive and we’re already being forced to buy a washer and dryer right out of the gate. That’s around $900-1,400 right there. The porch also needs redone ASAP… I don’t even want to estimate the cost of that!

It was kind of weird leaving the house. The next time we see it, we’ll be moving in. We can’t re-enter the property again after this. I’ll be excited to see the fixes. I’m already making a blueprint in Photoshop with an attempt to situate our gigantic couch and bits of furniture. It’s going to be very sparse at first.

The next thirty days are going to prove interesting…

Lots and Lots and Lots

Lots and Lots and Lots


My dad got married in Atlantic City at the end of August. I am… on the fence about it. There are numerous reasons as to why few are pleased about this circumstance, most of it revolving around just wanting my dad to be happy. My dad always told me he’d never get married. Then again, he proposed to my mother two or three times. This time, however, it wasn’t him that did it. It was her. And it was… ‘special’. Sarcasm doesn’t translate well with text.

I don’t really want to talk about it. I love my dad, for all his failings. I love him and I’m fiercely protective of him. We’ve been through a lot together, more than most parent-child relationships. In the end, he is married and I am his daughter, and nothing nor anyone can change that, no matter how much they try.

The trip to Atlantic City was an experience, to be sure. From the nine hour drive, to checking into a hotel for the first time by ourselves, and then thrown into the chaos of a city that centers around gambling… it was an experience. My aunt (dad’s side) was there, and thank goodness she was, because she’s the reason we had such an amazing experience there. It was a very short and exhausting trip, but it was an experience I’m grateful for.

We were up until 4am both nights. Whew. Also, I don’t like gambling (and no one is surprised by this.) Also, also, I married Rain Man. Continue lack of surprise.

In even sadder news, both of our respective grandparents’ health is failing. My grandma is not doing well and the husband’s grandpa is doing worse and worse with his Alzheimer’s. He’s in the end stages for sure now. It’s such a shame and a painful thing to watch.

My mother went to rehab… for a full four days. Yeah. So glad I took time off of work and hauled my ass up there. For nothing. At least I got to see my grandparents and my cousin with her kiddos. They’re getting so big!

We’re looking at houses. Seriously looking. In fact, we’re considering putting an offer on one of them. We started looking at houses with a realtor and found one we fell in love with, though it had a few things we didn’t like. Still, it was a foreclosure and had 2,100 square feet and a kitchen I adored.


It’s incredibly close to work and in a small neighborhood. The issues: it has next to no yard, I hate the exterior, and all you can hear is noise from the interstate. It’s loud. Deafening, almost, when you’re outside. But the inside? Is gorgeous. Brilliant, even. And the fact that it’s a foreclosure means that we could get it for cheap. Unfortunately, someone was placing an offer on it. We’re not sure if it’s been accepted or not… so we found another house that we liked.


This one is a distance from work (twenty minute commute), but nestled into a perfect suburb at the end of a cul-de-sac. It’s a corner lot with an okay yard. My husband was instantly in love with the neighborhood, as being a boy raised in the country (but a city boy at heart), he yearns for neighbors, community, and all those things. Silly man. I’ve tried to tell him that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

It’s a higher price than the other and it needs some work on the inside. It doesn’t have an awesome kitchen and the master bedroom isn’t even big enough to fit our current bed in. For reference, our apartment is fairly large, at around 900 sq ft with CONSIDERABLE closets. Seriously. None of these houses can touch the closets in this place! So our expectations are, understandably, high.

The interior isn’t bad and I do like the thought of turning the downstairs room they already started (it used to be a part of the garage) into a huge master bedroom… the price concerns me.

Either way, we’re going to a bank ASAP next week. We’ll see what happens from there.