A Tiny Problem

I have a tiny, itty-bitty problem.  It’s just this insignificant thing that somehow manages to put a crinkle in my day-to-day life and always rouses a sigh and a solemn head shake from the husband.  What is this particular problem?  Well, the following conversation happened last night:

‘So… you can’t be mad at me.’


(sweet, loving smile followed by anxious silence)

“What did you buy?

‘What? (guilty laughter)  Why do you automatically assume I bough-‘

(pointed look) “What did you buy?”

foundationThere are times that I wonder if my husband and I even breathe the same air; then there are times like this, where he seems to read me as easily as one reads the papers bound in a clear, plastic trapper keeper.  Argh.

I’ve mentioned several times my love of buying things.  I try to keep it controlled!  With clothes, I’ll only buy single items, maybe two at a time.  Big shopping sprees are fun, but smaller ones actually allow me to sate my desire without going bankrupt.

I was in queue, waiting for the LOTRO beta server to let me on, and I got bored.  So, I checked my email and saw that AVON was having a sale.  I haven’t ordered anything in months and so I started looking around.  They do awesome deals like, buy two products worth $9 and get them both for only $6!  There’s also, buy one, get the next for $2.  I needed some powder foundation and well, I got some eyeshadow stuff I loved last time, so I got more colors.

All in all, I didn’t spend near as much as I usually do.  AVON isn’t the problem.  It’s the two lolcat shirts I got (here and here (I love my dorky t-shirts)), the three things I looted off of Express’ sales rack (three things only cost $40!  All cost over that originally!), the trip to Aerie, and the obligatory stop in Pacsun, where I saw a birdie tank top I had to have.  I also went into Charlotte Russe because they had a silver/gray shiny cover up thing.  I have a thing with clothes that are either silver, shiny, blue, or have a bird somewhere on it.  Yeah, I know.  Simple minds and all that…

Then, there was the jeans I had to buy.  Yes, had to buy.  I was wearing nice, awesome work clothes toaejeans work, but that changed a long time ago when they forced me into the second section I currently work at in afternoons.  I have to wear jeans, so yeah, sucks.  Anyway, I hate buying jeans and avoid it at all costs.  I have the “huge ass, tiny waist” disease.  Nothing ever fits my ass completely.  If I can squeeze my ass into it, that means I have to cinch a belt so tight around my waist that my organs start playing musical chairs.  Add in the fact that I also have short, thick legs and it’s a no-win situation.

AE was having a sale on jeans and I was dubious, as the quality of their products leaves a lot to be desired.  I did, however, like their boot cut style, as the flare wasn’t huge and they had the right length in “short” jeans online for me.  So, I bought two.  This came to nearly $80.  I had to toss out some old, worn jeans that had been with me since before college, so it was a necessary expenditure, but still.  Yikes!  Unfortunately, I don’t have that nice space between my thighs like the picture.  I haven’t seen that since before I hit puberty and even my starve yourself by eating only a cup cornflakes twice a day diet didn’t bring it back.

So, yeah, I promised the husband I wouldn’t buy anything else this month.  He laughed and said the month was already half over, to which I indignantly responded that it was not, there were still three long weeks left!

When Things Don’t Turn Out As You Planned

So, I didn’t get the job.  I was given the news Friday morning.  My husband’s boss told me that I interviewed perfectly–almost too perfectly, as in my answers were exactly what he was looking for–and that I was the first choice.  Unfortunately, personnel refused to let the requirements they posted on the job go, despite the fact they were not what he had wanted.  So, they had to go with the other applicant.  Go figure on that one, just more bureaucratic bullshit.  Needless to say, I wasn’t happy, even though I put on a good face for the rest of the day and toiled through.

I’m not usually one to get my hopes up, but this job could have opened so many doors that it’s hard to ignore now.  As I told my husband, it’s like having a small toy and knowing nothing else exists and being perfectly content.  Then, something bigger and better is brought along, waved in your face, put within your grasp, and then promptly taken away to be given to someone else.  Sure, you still have your small toy and it’s nice, but now you know there are better things out there.  I’m feeling pretty useless and pathetic right now.  I had my one person pity party on Friday, but I’m still a little beat down by it all.  The woman has no adequate training for this particular job and is probably going to screw it up, because she doesn’t even know what it entails.  How many folks can still reliably use MS DOS?  Not many–I can.  Anyway, even if she does mess up, the job still can’t go to me.

It doesn’t help that his led to one of the biggest fights my husband and I have ever had.  There’s no need for details, I’ll read this and always remember what happened.  It’s been building up for awhile now and it’s just one of those things you have to deal with when you are total opposites.  People who claim we are “so much alike” are clinically fucking retarded… we’re not.  Not at all.  Similar interests does not equate similar personalities, sorry.  For us, it’s sometimes a constant struggle, much like trying to build a bridge over the freaking Grand Canyon.

We’re not the type to fight long term, though.  We duke it out over whatever and get over it.  There is none of this days, weeks, months or whatever of passive-aggressive cat and mouse games.  I don’t play that shit, I’d go freaking crazy.  I’m sure my husband would easily slip into that, but not me, no way.  I was the instigator, upset and completely frustrated, so I can’t blame it on him.  It was one of those fights that kind of has to happen, because you feel better afterward and certain things are suddenly clear.  There’s still a long way to go on that front, but it’s a start… again.

I’m lucky to have my husband and thankful for him, too, but we both agreed when I said, “if we weren’t together, you still wouldn’t be married.”  I didn’t mean it the way it sounds, it was more of, ‘look how much I put up with’ and he agreed.  There’s no one in the world who’d be able to deal with him, his own mother doesn’t even get him.  I may be difficult and stunted in some ways… but my husband is a special, special case of interpersonal relationship challenged.

In other news, my husband surprised me and actually planned something for our anniversary… well, kind of.  It isn’t necessarily “planned” yet so much as a thought.  We’ll see if he actually manages to go through with it, he still hasn’t even made his damn yearly check-up and I refuse to do it.  It’s adult time, I pick up too much of his slack.  Anyway, he wanted to schedule a dolphin encounter for me while we’re in Key West at the Dolphin Research Center.  I’m glad he came out and told me now, as I need a new bathing suit.  I only bikinis and given that I’m rather stacked, they won’t hold up against any heavy lifting like being with a playful dolphin.

We searched everywhere for tankinis or a one piece swimsuit that doesn’t look like it’s maternity or for older women.

I used to love Calvin Klein, just not the price tag!

No such luck, go figure on that one.  I turned my search online and found one, but they were out of my size in the tankini top.  Then, I went to Zappos and searched… and found this wonderful little thing, priced at $100… ouch!  The tankini was even more.  Thankfully, it went on sale for $78, matching the price of anything else we’d get online with rush shipping.  Zappos does free overnight, so that’s pretty sweet!

The size I had to order frightens me a little, though, and I’ll feel better once it’s here and I can try it on.  I’m hoping it fits.  I would have preferred something non-designer… but you take what you can get.  One pieces seem to all look granny unless they’ve got some kind of name or label associated to them!  Besides, this one is pretty enough I’d wear it over some of my other bathing suits.

Anyway, husband is home today, it’s a state holiday and he intended to work, but was sleepy when he got up so he stayed home.  Time to get off my butt, check in on him, and get some cleaning done… he cleaned the kitchen for me on Saturday (which was right before the big fight), but I still need to scrub the floors.

Only Slightly Out of Control…

Okay, I don’t know what it is about this weird spring/summer hybrid that’s been forced upon us, but it’s put me in quite the shopping mood.  I want to buy everything.  It’s ridiculous.  I like shopping, but I’m a sales seeker–true sales, not rip-offs–and it isn’t in my nature to impulse buy.  Lately, though, any rational thought is thrown out the window in favor of a pair of really cute shoes, tops, or dresses.  I have to avoid the career clothing section… I do need some dresses/skirts for the warm weather, but I also need an intervention.

Unfortunately, the shoes I found previously were not to my liking when they arrived.  They were certainly lovely, but the metallic leather was incredibly fragile.  There were already some wear marks where the shoes crease.  It’s also worth mentioning that they were nowhere near as as shiny as the pictures made believe.  I sent them back and continued my search.  I found the more pricey, but ten times more suitable silver flats by Cole Haan.


At the steep price of $138 (not including tax), I wish I could say I was hesitant, but I wasn’t.  They are perfect; a shiny, gorgeous silver and they have the Nike air technology!  When I got them, I was super excited, but a little nervous.  I ordered a seven and my feet aren’t really any perfect size.  They’re rather wide, so getting shoes that fit is a gamble–they never fit perfectly.  Anyway, these were comfortable, despite not being a half-size.  I still have to send them back, though.  The toe cap on the left shoe was completely different.  It was a factory defect.  I’ll be shipping them off tomorrow and awaiting anxiously my exchange.  These are definitely keepers!  I’m still waffling on whether or not I want to bump the size up to 7 1/2.  My only worry is that if they’re any bigger, the elastic back will rub my heel.  It’s a gamble…

Meanwhile, I was innocently browsing AE.com and found these for a steal at $9 (with the additional 30% promotion!)

0419_1317_021_fI don’t usually go for pewter, but it’d be nice to have a different color to work with.  I wear my flats like people wear their skin.  The only time I take them off is when I’m inside.  I love flat shoes–they are the only shoes I’m truly comfortable in.  Suffice it to say, I ordered them in a 7… I’m hoping they fit!  I don’t usually buy anything from AE, but these were hard to resist.  I’m trying not to get stuck on the fact they’re obviously fake.  I’m a huge leather snob… but leather lasts and it’s served me well for years and years.  I had a pair of awesome 100% leather silver flats from GAP for two years before the suede lining on the sole was ruined by errant dog crap… sigh.  Now I need a replacement.

I need to stop thinking about buying stuff… I really, really do.  I haven’t even been paid yet and my husband and I are in discussions on how best to handle my student loan.  I envy people that can buy without worry; I buy things and then worry endlessly about the bottom line.  I’m a terrible shopper, there is no such thing as guilt-free with me.

Things have been extra crazy around here, so I’m convincing myself that my shopping frenzy is just an expression of my pent up anxieities.  The husband had to go to court, he was subpeoned, but ended up not having to testify after all.  If he had, it would have been quite the anomaly.  He isn’t even a certified analyst yet!  His mock trial is next Friday… he would have testified before his test trial.  I still haven’t called my family this week, either.  Things have just been insane.  We’ve been running around like headless chickens.

We did manage to catch Clash fo the Titans in 3D, though.  I didn’t see the original, but I liked this version–it was enjoyable, if you’re into the stereotypical mythology thing and I am.  It wasn’t quite worth the extra price for the lackluster 3D effects, however.

Blaah… my head is everywhere.  I think I need more time to gather my thoughts.  Life seems to be moving forward at a ridiculously speedy rate lately.

Lost in a Time Vortex

There’s something about working a strict 8am to 4pm schedule that makes you feel as if you’ve suddenly been sucked into a time vacuum and spit out on the other side.  Granted, I’m only working two days a week, but even then, I feel like I’m in fast forward.  It feels like no sooner am I cleaning, that I’m working, and then I’m cleaning again.  There doesn’t seem to be any disruption despite the fact I’m doing other things.  The past few weekends have been spent outside, enjoying the nice weather, but that gets lost in the vortex of work and cleaning.  Weeks seem to skip by.  I’m definitely not used to this sudden increase in the way time moves.

It’s all perception, of course.  I’m not sure what it is about working, but it always seems to make time speed forward.  I’m happy with my schedule, two days a week suits me and it adds enough to our income to give us some flex room.  The job itself isn’t hard, either.  I’m mostly filing or doing odd jobs.  I do get to see some interesting things, though.  Working in Evidence Processing allows you access to pretty much everything.  At some point, I’ll be going through tons of old hair samples to catalogue them.  Right now, I’m just making most previous case evidence digital.

I’ve been spending a lot of time away from the internet.  I don’t mind the internet itself, but the community I’ve been wrapped in for the past five years has become tiresome.  I think I’m done.  I’ll think it over some more before making any hasty decisions, though.  I owe it that much.  I’ve even AFK’d from twitter and that’s just amazing…

Since summer is upon us (it was almost 80 degrees yesterday), I’ve decided that I need new flats.  My old flats are from GAP and while wonderful, are ruined.  I’m not sure how, but I stepped in dog crap and there’s suede lining around the bottoms.  So, after trying to clean them and failing miserably… it’s time for new shoes.  I found these originally on zappos, but they were out of my size.  Piperlime usually has a similar selection… and they actually had my size!

1105891-p-DETAILEDThey are almost exactly the same shape and form, so I’m quite excited.  The only difference is the sole doesn’t seem to be cushy like the ones I had before, but I’ll deal.  I love the honeycomb/silver combination!  The price was rather steep, $98 before tax.  I was surprised when my husband told me to go ahead and get them.  He usually balks at such steep prices for shoes!

I wish piperlime had zappos’ shipping, though.  I’m getting anxious waiting for them to get here.  Zappos does a thing where you can usually get free overnight, very is very nice.  I’m also waiting for my photo paper from Amazon to arrive… I’ve taken on the project of getting all our photos printed out and put into albums.  I’m still working my way through all the wedding/vacation photos from last July.  Yikes.

We’re not doing anything for Easter.  The in-laws are on their way to Key West with my husband’s maternal grandfather as I type this.  I’m a little bummed, but his family doesn’t really ‘celebrate’ Easter like mine did, despite being religious… which is a bit odd.  Oh well.

Snowy Days


I’m completely off my schedule and it’s just made things a bit maddening around here.  The only thing I have is the snow and for that, I am endlessly thankful.  This is a strange sort of winter for this place, they don’t usually get this much snow and certainly never this much accumulation.  It’s not quite what I’m used to, but it’s there and it’s much better than the rainy winters I’ve been forced endure since moving here.

Still, it makes me drowsy.  Getting out of bed is taxing anymore.  I wake up with the husband every workday at 7am, make his breakfast, prepare his lunch, see him off, and then Loki and I crawl back into bed.  Usually I’m up around 9am, but lately, it’s everything I can do to roll out of bed before 11am!  I just feel so tired and I want to sleep.  Even now, after being up for several hours, I still want to sleep.  I’m tired and I’m thirsty.  I think I have a cold, there’s some pressure in my head.

It’s hard to believe it’s Wednesday again already.  The three day weekend really mixed things up and today was the husband’s first full day back at work.  He took a half day yesterday to take me to the dentist.  I noticed, Friday evening, that I had some extreme sensitivity in one of my top, left teeth.  I panicked when I realized it was a hole!  I was worried it was one of the teeth they weren’t scheduled to fix and it is, so the money we’ve been building up doing work for the father-in-law will go to its intended cause.  I’m scheduled next Thursday for an intense root canal and Nitrous.  I’ve never had the gas before, so I’m interested to see how well it works.

Valentine’s Day was standard, holidays are never good times for me.  My tooth was essentially my “gift”, though my husband did get me the annual chocolates from Holl’s, which was nice!  We went out on Saturday with the in-laws, saw ‘The Wolfman’, which was more hilariously terrible than anything else and then we had dinner out, which was okay, but I would have preferred a different restaurant.  It was still good to see the in-laws, though, it had been nearly two weeks… they definitely miss us.  Husband and I did some very light shopping on Sunday, everyone is switching over from winter to spring, so everything is in-between and store merchandise is low.  I didn’t see anything I wanted and this surprised both of us, though I did make a purchase at Victoria’s Secret.  My husband fails at inventive, romantic gifts.  He used to have potential, he even surprised me a few time with sweet, geeky gifts… but when it comes to it now?  Just plain failure.  So I usually have to do it myself.

I’m still trying to keep up with the budgeting, but I can’t seem to do it.  It’s exactly the same with cleaning.  I need to get back into my routinue.  If I fall out of it, I get lost and everything goes insane.  I’m a very scheduled person, though I have an incredibly spotnaneous side.  I like my daily life and chores to be scheduled, though.  I may confiscate my husband’s large dry erase board and try to plot out the chores on it, in an effort to stabilize myself again.

I’ve fallen behind on exercising, too, because I’ve been so weary and out of sorts.  Going to go and try to do that now.  I managed to get in some last week, too, but not enough.